Transferring data…

I am going to attempt transferring some old posts from another website I had that I’m in the process of deleting. I would have deleted it sooner except I didn’t want to lose the thoughts on my blog. It may be something you’re interested in reading or not. I will list the actual dates the posts were written, and hopefully one day I will figure out how to archive them properly…

Monday, July 31, 2006
From discontentment and fear to contentment and bravery…

Have you ever made it to point of true contentment in your life? I used to believe, or at least wonder, if that was even possible. I believed it was humanly impossible to ever be content. However, I truly feel that I have achieved a place of contentment in my life. Most, I would assume, find this place much later in their lives than 31 years of age. I feel that I am very blessed to be at such a point of rest in my life at all, especially so early on..

Don’t misunderstand me. There are many things in my life I still so desire, a closer walk and relationship with God, a God-fearing and obedient husband that loves me, a happy and safe future for my children, etc., but one word sums up how I feel about my life now: satisfied.

I used to live a life of dissatisfaction daily. It was not uncommon for me to want another’s home, car, money, or life. I’m not sure what happened along the way, but those thoughts never cross my mind anymore. I know it is simply because I have learned to experience contentment of wherever I am now.

Do not be misled. It was no easy road getting here. I have had my share of heartaches and loss. I have struggled with and had to learn how to deal with anger, pain, loss, disappointment, betrayal, and the list goes on and on. But through all of these trials, one person loyally stood by my side. Christ. His blood has washed over my sins numerous times, and His hand has pulled me out of darkness more times than I could ever begin to list. I have learned what a loving father He is. There are times He has allowed me to wander off a bit, but he is always standing there waiting on me when I decide to return to Him. Really, in so many ways, my relationship with him has been extremely sellfish on my part. I have taken Him for granted so many times and left Him at times I should have been holding onto Him as tight as humanly possible.He is so gracious in His gift of Grace. He has taken me out of soiled, ungodly relationships with human beings and restored me to a place where I have found what it is like to have a true godly relationship with other human beings. He has taken me out of discomfort, distrust, and fearful living conditions, and has given me comfort, trust, and safety. He has taken discontentment and envy, and replaced it with a true satisfaction and thankfulness that causes me to desire very little that is not promised to me in His word. For this I am eternally grateful.

If you have ever experienced pain in your life, then you may understand how easy it can be at times to wonder if God is even real. It is not uncommon for us to doubt Him in our hardest trials. But He is real, and He loves us so very much. We cannot rely on any other human being to make us happy. We must rely solely on the Lord. Look to the hills from whence cometh your help, and He will pull you out as well. I speak from experience. However, there is one little catch. You may be required to do a little work yourself while coming out of whatever valley you are in. His gift of salvation is free, but it is an ongoing process to remain loyal to Him (at least that has been the case in my walk with Him). It is so easy to forget Who He is and it is even easier to take things into our own hands without asking for His guidance and instruction. I think He disciplines us in a way so that we don’t forget how incapable we really are without Him. I think that is why he allows us to suffer a bit at times. I think it is because He loves us and He doesn’t like seeing us make the same choices over and over. Those of you who have children of your own probably understand this concept. Many times it would be so easy for us to step in and fix everything for our children, but by doing so what are we teaching them? I think God does the same with us. By allowing us to have to work ourselves out of a rut, we come out so much more appreciative of Him in the end. But no matter how big our rut, and how far we must climb to come out of it, His hand is always there waiting on us to grip, so he can help us out, bit by bit, in His own time. Now that is Fatherly love.

Published in: on March 23, 2007 at 4:40 am  Leave a Comment  

Still Alive!

I cannot believe how little time I have for anything lately. Especially blogging. I’ve had a lot of things happening, so I guess it is time to update my site a bit.

I am officially employed for next year. The job search has ended, so now I can focus on other things. I will be teaching third grade (again!) at Noah’s school. I am excited about this, because Noah can ride to school or catch the bus. Even though he and Maddie have both always went to school where I taught, this will be the first time I’ve taught in our actual district. Noah is excited that he’ll go to the same school as everyone in the neighborhood.

Chris and I have begun looking for churches near his home. We are trying to find a church that blends all of our worship styles in addition to providing good solid teaching. We visited a church right by my new job, and although the music wasn’t quite what we were looking for, the pastor preached an outstanding sermon. One of the best I’ve heard. He preached on Jesus washing the disciples feet before his crucifixion and how it was an act of service and love. It made me think a lot about how little we serve others, and how little we allow others to serve us. The biggest thing in his message that hit me was the mention of what Jesus must have been thinking when he looked into Judas’s eyes, seeing and knowing that he would be the one to betray him, and still he knelt before him and washed his feet just as he did the others. Even though I am a Christian, it is very difficult for me to love my enemies. Christ knew at that point that Judas was his enemy, yet he served him out of love. I’ve always known that Christ’s love for me is powerful, but this story really shed some light on how deeply he does love me even though I’m so undeserving.

Noah’s birthday is Sunday. He will be 10 years old. It’s hard to believe a decade has passed. But my oh my, what a decade does to a little boy’s personality. If some of his personality doesn’t change, he may not live to see another one…

Maddie had her first car accident and she is only twelve. It involved my car and front porch after she asked if she could put the car in reverse and back it up four inches and park it right back in place. She got forward and reverse mixed up, and didn’t realize that pushing the gas didn’t require nailing it to the floorboard. Fortunately her uncle is a builder and I have an old car that is paid for. I don’t think she’ll want to drive again any time soon.

There is much more to tell, but things are getting cloudy. Bedtime is drawing nigh… It’s morning duty this week: Yuck!

Published in: on March 20, 2007 at 4:45 am  Comments (1)