Rub a Dub Dub! (Rated PG-13)

Thursday night was an exciting night! My bathtub was finally installed. It took about a month to get it in after the wrong tub was ordered and delivered, and then the right tub ordered and delivered. After much anticipation, I could not wait to try the big beauty out. It’s been nearly a year since I’ve been able to take a bath in my own bathroom.

Here I am washing my worries away.

I was so excited that I left my pearls on. I like to wear them when I need to feel especially special (which is why I wore them to work that day) and on special occasions. I mean what’s more special than trying out a new bathtub?

The night couldn’t have been more perfect. I had forgotten how relaxing a nice long, hot bath makes you feel. My heart was pounding so heavy from all the heat. It was like having my own personal sauna. I kept thinking was how wonderful it was to be able to bathe again! (I’m sorry, but showers just don’t do it for me the way a good bath does!)

And then I went downstairs to discover this.

Yep, that’s what’s left of Lake Lanier pouring through my ceiling. I could not photograph the full extent of the problem because my camera died as soon as I snapped this. However, I assure you it was not pretty. Water was everywhere!
So I guess it’s safe to assume the leak wasn’t fixed. So much for feeling relaxed.

I am starting to catch my breath…

but I don’t have much time for writing. I will be back soon with some insight. I’m doing a lot of thinking and a lot of praying about what needs to give. And thanks Chris and Mr. Z for the words of wisdom. More to come…

Trying to come up for air…

I feel like I’m drowning, and I am trying very hard to stay calm. I am almost certain too much is on my plate right now. I’ve worked all weekend on plans for next week, and I’m not even taking a master’s class right now. I’m worried about how I’m going to balance it all. Any suggestions?

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My friend Carrie decided to start a blog. She is a super cool spinster, if ever I’ve seen one. I mean, she’s standing over the ocean in Greece, for goodness sake! I’m putting her blog out there, so please, all ten readers of mine, show her some linkin’ luv! You won’t be disappointed. And please, if you have time, leave her a comment. She’s kind of shy:) And now I’m signing off for the night. I’m all pimped out!

Maddie’s first day of school and strange pick up lines…

Since I wrote a snippet about Noah’s first couple days of school, I thought I’d write a snippet about Maddie’s. She decided to join yearbook, which is perfect considering how often she’s running around snapping photos of everyone. Needless to say, I have a million and one photos of her from that day, so I thought I would post one that sums it up:

She came home from the first day super-excited. She’s a senior on the big middle school campus! She had funny tales of all sorts, but the one that keeps jumping out the most is about a boy she met on the first day who has ended up in several of her classes. He introduced himself in this manner:

Boy:So, is this your second year in eighth grade too?
Maddie: Uh…. NO!

Apparently, she has not sent a strong enough hint that she’s not interested. She keeps complaining of him “harassing” her. Their last names begin with the same letter, so they keep getting assigned seats next to one other. I can’t help but chuckle.

She was trying to come up with turn down lines to use because she is certain he’s about to ask her out. Chris suggested she come up with a list of turn down lines followed by curses and type them up on slips of paper to hand out as unwanted requests arise. They can say things like, “I am not interested in dating you. May you embarrassingly toot out loud in first period for asking.”

I’m just hoping this boy will be at least a temporary deterrent for any other interested male parties. I’m not very cool with the boyfriend idea…

Just a clarification on my last post…

Not that anyone has stated otherwise, but I just wanted to make sure nothing, other than me being sarcastic, was read into my last post.
Fact: I would not pop Noah in his mouth (at least not in public);
Fact: I would care if I went to jail.
Fact: I would wash his mouth out with soap. (It’s not like he’s allergic to it or anything.)

Unfortunately, I have to use shocking language like that to get his attention. That’s just the kind of kid he is. I assure you he knows my real stance, and he doesn’t perceive it as verbal or mental abuse. He knows how special he is. It’s just our (mine and his) personal way of communicating so that he knows he’s stepped out of line. There’s a lot of tough love going on:)

May not have been a need to even clarify. Anyone who knows me picks up on my sarcasm. But out here on the internets, you just never know how people read things…

I Could Write a Book…

I could write a book about the pain in the *** things my kids say. Mostly my son. Tonight we went school shopping for a five subject notebook. His teachers mentioned that the Five Star brand was best, so off to Target at about 9:00 tonight we go. Now, I must mention that this is typically about what time I head off to bed on a school night, but he seemed to be wigging out about needing this notebook.

School supplies are very picked over right now. I knew that Target would have the best selection and the smallest crowd. However, it appeared there were no five subject notebooks left, until I spotted this one:

Except there’s two little problems; One: Notice the brand. That’s right. It isn’t Five Star. Two: It has funny dividers.

But then I found one! I was so proud. A Five Star, Five Subject Notebook! I felt like Mommy of the Year! Except it was florescent green. I had to hear all about how gay it looked, yadi, yadi, yadi, and how he would be labeled a fag *GASP* if he got caught carrying it around.

By this time I’m losing my patience (remember, it is long past my bedtime), but I’m trying hard to be empathetic. Change is really difficult for Noah, and he’s going through a HUGE one right now.

Suddenly, way in the back of the very bottom shelf I find it!:

The last one that wasn’t florescent green! Yeah, I’d say I rock.

Except it’s gay too. Something about the nylon binding? After going back and forth for about 10 minutes, our shopping trip ended with both of us having melt downs.

I still can’t figure out what is wrong with either of these notebooks, so I bought both. I am slipping them in his book bag tonight after he goes to sleep with a note inscribed on the first page of each. I’m thinking my note will read something like this:
Dear Noah, I had a wonderful time shopping with you last night. I love you. Mom

The crazy thing is, I do love him, and I did enjoy shopping with him, even if I did threaten to 1. pop him in the mouth 2. gladly go to jail for it and 3. wash his mouth out with soap if he said the word gay or fag one more time, especially while in public. Fag was a curse word when I was a kid, for goodness’ sake! I would have never gotten away with using that word so freely, especially around my mom! I think the comment about not caring if I went to jail got through. He said nothing else after mumbling, “Mom, people can hear you.” I think I became a bit embarrassing. Heavens no!

And if you have children that are in elementary school or younger, start preparing for the middle school years NOW! Get on your knees and start praying. They are a LOT of hard work. I have yet to find a good book on the subject. I think it’s because this age group is a mystery to everyone, including the experts.

Maybe a little too proactive?

I think starting a neighborhood watch has went to my husband’s head. Tonight he typed up a slew of parking citations. Apparently the local double-parkers around town have gotten on his last nerve. Though what he did isn’t quite as bad as the photo above (I do not know who wrote the letter above.), he did type the following statement on turquoise slips of paper to store in his glove compartment so that they are readily available for distribution:
You are selfishly consuming two parking spaces. Learn to park or let someone else drive. As if this weren’t enough, he follows the sentence with random curses such as:
May your first born son enter a profession that requires “Jazz Hands”.
May your hemorrhoids flare without mercy.
May an opossum crawl into your car and die. (I think there is more to this last statement, but he just snatched it from me. Apparently he doesn’t want me blogging about this.)

I can see him now, waving those little slips of paper in the air, yelling “Citizen’s Arrest! Citizen’s Arrest!”

Oh well, he gives me something to write about. Oh no, I gotta run. He’s coming my way with something pink in his hand! Till next time!

All Work and No Play Makes Me Just a Little Loco!

This is what I look like when I begin to crack.

I went back to work last week, and things have been chaotic. So much so, that my wonderful mother in law came and stayed last week just to help shuffle kids and keep our household running. Between summer camps, cheer leading practices, and school open houses, things have been moving at an all time fast record. Apparently motherhood, a full-time job, working on my master’s, and launching a neighborhood watch are more than one person should be doing at once. Thank goodness I have my husband, a.k.a. my knight in shining armor to share the responsibilities with.

The short-term memory loss has kicked in. I am misplacing things and losing track of what things I’ve already done, and things I need to do. Oh the joys of stress overload! The good news is I only have one more week in this current semester, and then I get two weeks off before the next one begins. I would like to take off a semester so that I can ease my way into a new school year, but that delays baby plans. I don’t think I can have a baby until I’m through taking classes. (I know my limitations.) Chris was all for me taking time off until he learned that tidbit of info. Now he’s encouraging me to push along. I think his clock is ticking:)

I don’t know how regularly I’ll find time to post in the next week or so. The kids come back on Monday, and the first week of school is always hectic! But I am so excited to get to know my new set of students for the next nine months! And I cannot believe that both of my own children are in middle school. Gosh, I’m getting old.

Oh, and good news! We have 34% neighborhood participation so far. Several neighbors have joined in on the canvasing efforts. I think we’re going to make it. It’s just taking a while. It’s great to live near such awesome people.

New earrings and really great hair…

My friend Carrie went to Greece this summer, and she was sweet enough to bring me back a pair earrings made from real coral and lava. How cool is that?! I would write more about how great they look, but I am having trouble moving past the topic of how great my hair looks! I think this is my favorite haircut Nancy has given me yet. She even gave me subtle highlights so I can look like I’ve been in the sun all summer. After Carrie took my picture modeling these awesome earrings, I had her take another picture of my hair without it tucked behind my ears.

You have to bear with me for a week or so. Every time I visit Nancy, I get accused of having my head up my rear. However, if this were true, , my hair would not look this good. Even so, my new look doesn’t come without a few complications.

Friday, I was pulling out of my driveway with Noah and I heard a blood-curling scream. I was certain I had just run over a neighbor’s child, but when I slammed on my brakes and got out, I only saw my mail lady, eyes as big as saucers, clinching her body in fear. I had no idea she had stopped in front of my mailbox as I was pulling out. She apologized for screaming at me (personally, I am very thankful she did!), and I told her that I was the one who was sorry. I informed her that if she hadn’t of screamed, I might have hit her because she was in my blind spot. As she drove away, I discovered that the reason I had a blind spot was because my rear view mirror was still pointing at me from where I had been checking myself out. Oops!

I was a tad embarrassed, especially since Noah was reprimanding me for nearly killing her. As I readjusted my mirror, I explained to him that I was pretty confident if the mail lady knew what had really happened, she would be very understanding.

This morning when I got to work, I walked by a mirror and had to stop and admire my hair. It was the first day I’ve worn it curly since getting it cut, and I think it’s how I prefer it. But then someone walked in and caught me. It was my friend Carrie. Of course she knew what I was doing, because she too goes to Nancy Nee. (And yes, she acts the same way until the spell is broken.) I’m telling you, Mrs. Nancy is all the rave, at least that’s what Carrie told our boss yesterday.

Perhaps I need to go back and reread If Only I Had a Green Nose. Sigh.